Photo: Giambattista Valli via MyDomaine.
Happy Friday everybody!! How was your week?
I had to deal with some not-so-fun car issues, so I’m pretty glad it’s the weekend. I’m thinking of doing a post on “stuff I’ve learned about cars”, because I am SO FAR from a car lover and I’ve had to learn some things the hard way (hello, fender benders and dead batteries). I’m off to a friend’s cottage for the weekend to unwind, eat lots of snacks, and play some beer pong…summer ain’t over yet!
Today we’re talking about another topic that I’m learning more about every day: the pros & cons of living with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
When I was thinking about moving in with Stefan, I was so torn: living with Stefan would be (and is!) amazing in so many ways, but I LOVED living alone. Would my independence disappear forever? After months of thinking about it and asking advice from my older and wiser friends- thanks again, Jess– we finally decided to make it happen.
And I am SO glad we did!
There are so many awesome perks of living with Stef, and they waaaaaay outweigh the cons. But you do need to consider these cons when you’re humming and hawing over taking that big step. Everyone has a different idea of “how to know when you’re ready”, so I thought I would share my two cents from my own (very limited) experience.
Pro: What’s his is mine!
There are so many fun new things that have come into my life! It’s like having a whole new apartment. Cozy blankets, kitchen supplies, and the record player I got him for Christmas 2 years ago. Musical theatre has never sounded so good.
Con: …and what’s mine is his
Sigh. Sharing. I think I missed this lesson in kindergarten. I’m learning to relinquish control and realize that for the most part, “my” stuff is now “our” stuff. This includes the most important part of my home: the closet. Clearing out half (almost half) of my closet was quite the struggle.
Pro: My boyfriend is practically a chef
Okay, he’s not actually a chef. But the boy can cook! It’s so nice to have dinner together every night that we’re both home. I’ve been eating so much healthier with him around, and I’ve had way more homemade lunches lately. Saving money and nutrition! Boo yah!
Con: Bye-bye freedom of decoration
My condo was never overly feminine to begin with, so we haven’t had to change much. But now I don’t have autonomy in decisions of where things go. Some decisions are non-negotiable (sorry Stef, my “creepy” teddy bear BamBam is here to stay) but some require negotiation- i.e. whether my girly Gray Malin print will go in the living room or my office. Compromise! I guess…
Pro/Con: I have someone to call me out on my shit
I’m generally a pretty clean person. But living alone let me build some bad habits. Don’t feel like doing the dishes? Leave ’em for a while! Get home from work? Kick off my shoes in different directions! Living with a roommate again has made me stop and reconsider my habits…this is probably for the better, but I will still pout about it when Stef tells me to put my shoes away.
Basically, living with your love means partnership, companionship, snuggles, and someone to be weird with when no one else is around. It’s the best! As long as it’s the right time in your relationship, you really can’t go wrong!
In the grand scheme of things, I feel having your own space is key to happily living at home with your partner. It does not literally have to be your own room, but even just to have your own little corner, or a spot where you can read, play a video game, talk on the phone (people still do that right?) and also to try and do activities that are just for you. Just putting the time for yourself in general is important. Then when you both do get together and do things you can both share and have interests in, it seems refreshing and more natural.
Also, if you live with someone who is a positive influence on you, then it can be very rewarding. My wife, for example, is a very healthy individual. So just having more healthy foods and snacks in the house motivates me to eat well and take better care of myself.
Lastly, you can learn a lot by being with someone every day. Learning always helps you grow as an individual. Seeing what they are into, crossing paths with their interests that you would never give the time of day on your own. It can be quite fun.
And yes, your partner can drive you nuts, but you can drive them nuts too. So it all balances out in the end.