Taking a Breather

Do you ever have those days where everything feels off? I’m having an existential crisis-ey day that I know we all have every once in a while. The feelings of “am I happy?” “what am I doing with my life?” “why am I here?” are at an all-time high today, and these thoughts are making it incredibly hard to focus. So instead, I’m writing a blog post.

Being a 20-something is HARD. Here I am, having graduated less than a month ago and just 2 months into my job…what do I do? It doesn’t help that I spend a healthy chunk of time reading blogs and on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube watching these girls I admire live their dreams. Not that I necessarily need to be a high-profile blogger to be happy. But it makes me think…what ARE my dreams?

I’m currently reading “Live it, Love it, Earn it” by Marianna Olszewski (review to come, not to worry). Anyways, this life coach-style book puts a heavy emphasis on doing what you love and not settling for less. Because when you love what you do, work doesn’t feel like work, and making money will be a breeze. It’s not that I don’t like my job; I LOVE the company that I work for. I just have no idea where I want to be, or if I’m on the completely wrong path.

My parents are always talking about how when you’re young you need to take whatever jobs you can get and work your way up. Work my way up WHAT?? I don’t want to waste years of my life working in industries that I don’t love, only to find that I’m unhappy and without purpose. I’m all for working for a while to figure out what I do love (and making some money in the process), but where do I draw the line? At what point does it all become pointless, and when should I have found something I love?

It’s super inconvenient for these thoughts to wash over me while I’m at work. I’m already not great at focusing; put some lofty thoughts in my head, and it’s all over. It’s in this moment (or in the past hour, rather) that I have discovered the importance of taking a breather. I was feeling extra anxious and antsy, so I grabbed my wallet and flew down the elevator. I went for a 10 minute walk and grabbed a coffee. I let the breeze cool me down and shook off my feelings. Granted, I splooshed coffee on my shirt (my inability to drink without spilling is a whole other story), but I feel IMMENSELY better. That walk just made the next 5 hours seem that much more manageable, and I no longer feel like my world is collapsing.

Did I have a life-changing epiphany about what will make me happy on this walk? HELL no. But, I feel like I can finish out the day now that I’ve taken a moment to appreciate the incredible mess that life is. I have so many things to be grateful for; I HAVE a job, first off. I have a gorgeous place to live. I have family and friends that are always there for me. I have a boyfriend that loves and appreciates me. I’m healthy, I’m young, and I’m just getting started.

Take a breather when it all gets too much; it won’t solve your world’s problems, but it’s a start.